Mr. Dr. Boli Sir, You do not happen to be related to my neighbor, do you? His name is Mr. Gregory, he owns a few horses, and he often wears a black leather jacket. My venerable mother, upon seeing your picture, insists that you must be at least remotely related. Second cousins, she suggests. My opinion is that the alleged association is pure flapdoodle. Please give me the truth as soon as possible, Dr. Boli, for I distrust that villainous thing known as curiosity. After all, the legend says that it did kill a cat. Who indeed knows what it might do next! Truly, if second cousins sprout up everywhere, what is a delicate young lady to do! Please help me! —Very truly yours, Miss MadMadeline Bassett.
Dear Madam: Dr. Boli has many cousins bearing such names as Böli, Behli, Beli, Baily, Bailey, and Glatfelter. He was also a fourth cousin to King William I of Prussia, but regrettable family disagreements provoked what ultimately became a permanent estrangement. He is not aware of anyone named Gregory among his fifth, sixth, or seventh cousins, but he has only the vaguest notion of his cousins once they reach the double digits.
You will be delighted to hear that the latest research indicates that curiosity did not kill the cat. The case has therefore been reopened, and city police are confidently expecting an arrest within the next few days. Curiosity has been released with an apology and a complimentary set of dishes.
Dr. Boli is, however, sorry to see from your signature that you, madam, appear to have gone mad since he was last in touch with you. He might have warned you that any alliance with the Black Shorts, marital or otherwise, was likely to end in misery.