DR. BOLI’S AGE-DEFYING ELIXIR.

AT THE PRESENT time, Dr. Boli is just a month shy of 227 years old, but he is frequently mistaken for a man half his age. To what does he attribute his youthful vigor? The secret lies in Dr. Boli’s Age-Defying Elixir, the receipt for which is now revealed to the public for the first time.

In a stout mixing bowl, combine

2 cups plain yogurt
1 tsp rose water
1 tsp turbinado sugar
1 tsp Hungarian paprika

Meanwhile, chop and discard

3 heads lettuce
3 heads endive
3 heads celery
3 heads old-fashioned oatmeal

In a small frying pan, roast

1 clay pigeon

until lightly salted.

To the yogurt mixture, add

2 cups confetti (mixed colors)

Stir gently while admiring the clay pigeon; then toss the mixture over the head of a passing prothonotary. When he pursues you, run like the wind. To this program of vigorous exercise Dr. Boli attributes all his much-remarked youth and vitality.