DR. BOLI’S COMPREHENSIVE HERBAL.

No. 23 in a Series of 253,486.

Daisy (Leucanthemum vulgare). The word “daisy” is a corruption of “day’s eye,” so called because daisies are the ever-watchful secret police of the Composite family. Wherever you see daisies, you may be sure that they also see you, and that they are keeping track of your activities and reporting their observations to their superiors in the family Compositae or Asteraceae. If those superiors deem it necessary, enforcers, such as ragweed or thistles, will be sent out to bring you back into line by any means necessary.

There is little you can do to avoid the surveillance of daisies during the day. At night their activities cease, and you may consider yourself off the hook for a few hours. What exactly the Compositae want from us is not easy to determine. We know that they disapprove of lawn mowers; but, on the other hand, many noted environmentalists, whom one would suppose to be great friends of the plant kingdom, have been ruthlessly plagued by ragweed. The best one can do under the circumstances is keep the daisies in mind and live a life of the strictest virtue, avoiding all but spinach salads (lettuce being another member of the Compositae) and thinking only wholesome thoughts. It may also help to be too lazy to do much yard work.

Astrologically, the entire Composite family is governed by Jupiter under a League of Nations mandate.

Comments

  1. Zombie Psychologist says:

    “live a life of the strictest virtue, […] It may also help to be too lazy to do much yard work.”

    Hence the saying: “laziness is next to godliness”.

  2. Martin the Mess says:

    Two questions spring to mind. First, are the Oxeye daisies also working for large ruminants from the Animal kingdom, or to they strictly work within their own Plantae; and secondly, whom did the League of Nations set up on a Man-date with Jupiter?

  3. What good a life of the strictest virtue, given the endemic corruption of “day’s eye”?

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

  4. Caren says:

    Which leaves us with the question of who is responsible for the black-eyed Susan.

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