“Everybody else is doing it” is an excuse we would not accept from a five-year-old, and yet it seems to suffice for year-in-review articles in grown-up publications like this one. To begin, then:

In January, we printed some emojis for Stoics, and the Stoics in the audience showed their appreciation by not changing their indifferent expressions.

We spent the entire month of February celebrating both International Typewriter Appreciation Month and International Anything-but-Haiku Month, so you may pick your favorite from twenty-eight non-haikus. Dr. Boli was especially happy with “The Siren” and “The Proud Philosopher.” But it would not be fair to our readers if he did not point out that his poetry provoked some protest.

In March, we dispelled an Internet myth about Wiliam Torrey Harris. Nevertheless, the Internet continues to repeat the myth, almost as though not everyone in the world monitors this Magazine for important corrections of Internet misconceptions. We also sorted out the various types of professors.

In April, we explained the different forms of government. We also published a vaudeville patter meant to challenge the bourgeois notion of “funny.”

In May, we explained how hybrid cars work. For our younger readers, we had an exceptionally exciting episode of Space Chicken.

In June, we published every speech you have ever heard, so that you have no need to listen to speeches by club presidents, managers, motivational speakers, and the like in the future. We also caught a suspicious character in the act of posting a bill.

July brought us a meditation on trends in art, provoked by a Bouguereau painting. We also gave some very bad advice to children about dealing with our tiger friends.

In August, we learned the truth about ancient grains, and we heard the first of Mrs. Cheswick’s Educational Stories for Children, though unfortunately not the last.

In September, Sir Montague Blastoff made first contact with a strange extraterrestrial race, which went about as well as you might expect. We also worked ourselves into a furious lather about the International Phonetic Alphabet.

In October, we learned how to stay secure on line. For the benefit of smart people, we also explained stupid people.

In November, we heard the touching and instructive ballad of “The Sponge.” We also printed a list of filmstrips that should prove useful to teachers looking for ways to calm hyperactive children, and perhaps even render them comatose.

In December, we learned the truth about madeleines. We also solved a longstanding literary mystery. And on December 31, we looked back over a year of dubious accomplishments and thought we really ought to do better next year.