Posts by Dr. Boli
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DR. BOLI’S PRESS-CLIPPING BUREAU.
LOVEY-LOVES.
By Guest Contributor Ben King.
Oh, love! let us love with a love that loves,
Loving on with a love forever;
For a love that loves not the love it should love—
I wot such a love will sever.
But, when two loves love this lovable love,
Love loves with a love that is best;
And this love-loving, lovable, love-lasting love
Loves on in pure love’s loveliness.
Oh, chide not the love when its lovey-love loves
With lovable, loving caresses;
For one feels that the lovingest love love can love,
Love on in love’s own lovelinesses.
And love, when it does love, in secret should love—
’Tis there where love most is admired;
But the two lovey-loves that don’t care where they love
Make the public most mightily tired.
This poem and hundreds of pages of other amusements may be found in Dr. Boli’s Anthology of American Humor, now available in splendid paperback or as a free PDF download. Look at the PDF, and if you think this book is exactly what your cousin Elspacious needs for Christmas, buy the paperback book.
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IN THE NEWS.
An NSA statement announced last night that the agency has intercepted a plot to disrupt the Dan Schutte concert and workshop of contemporary Christian music in Wheeling.
A chartered bus was stopped at a rest stop on Interstate 70 westbound when agents in flak jackets surrounded it and took the passengers into custody. According to the NSA statement, agents confiscated a continuo organ, two cellos, two violas, four violins, four oboes, four flutes, four recorders, and a large stack of sheet-music parts for Bach’s St. Matthew Passion.
NSA agents believe that the musicians and singers on the bus were “dupes,” unaware of the true nature of their mission, which was masterminded by the dangerous domestic terrorist Bozar the Clown, who remains at large.
NOW IN PRESS.
New theological treatise by the Rev. Bob-Bob Lee: On the Moral Duty of Excluding Traffic from the Merging Lane. Limited edition, gilt-edged, bound in morocco, signed by the author, and blessed by the Holy Spirit. Keep the Christ in Xmas by ordering from your local Christian bookstore now.
NO COMMENT NECESSARY.
From Frank Leslie’s Illustrated Newspaper, February 25, 1860. Click to enlarge the picture.
A NEW BOOK.
Dr. Boli’s Anthology of American Humor is exactly what the title would lead you to believe: more than 300 pages of the best humorous writing by the best American writers from pre-Colonial times to 1922.
Many of these pieces are not available in print anywhere else. A few of them have probably never been anthologized before.
The selections themselves are in the public domain, of course, but Dr. Boli has added interesting and entertaining introductions to each writer. The book has been literally years in preparation—not because it could not have been done in a week, but because Dr. Boli’s method was to add a piece here and there as he ran across things that amused him.
Nevertheless, you may have this valuable work absolutely free in PDF form. You’ll be able to see every page of the book exactly as it appears in print: in fact, you will be seeing the very file from which the book is printed. Then, if you like the book and think a printed copy would be just the thing to give your Aunt Eleanor for Christmas, or a valuable addition to your bathroom furnishings, you can go ahead and buy it.
This is what we call a marketing experiment.
Download or view the PDF file here; then buy the book here.
Here is a list of the authors represented—some familiar, some (we hope) unfamiliar and waiting for you to discover them:
An Ojibwe Myth
Benjamin Franklin
Francis Hopkinson
Hugh Henry Brackenridge
Salmagundi
Washington Irving
James K. Paulding
Major Jack Downing
James Fenimore Cooper
Fanny Fern
James Russell Lowell
Oliver Wendell Holmes
John Phoenix
Orpheus C. Kerr
Artemus Ward
Abraham Lincoln
Josh Billings
Mark Twain
Julia A. Moore
Max Adeler
Will W. Clark
Bill Nye
Eugene Field
Ben King
Robert J. Burdette
George Ade
Billy Baxter
Wallace Irwin
Franklin Pierce Adams
Gelett Burgess
Carolyn Wells
Elbert Hubbard
Bert Leston Taylor
Heywood Broun
Dorothy Parker
Robert Benchley
Ring Lardner
Some of these writers will be making guest appearances here in the coming weeks.
COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.
The Day the Earth Smelled Funny. An environmental fable in which a fracking accident releases an odor something like stale popcorn, causing residents of a small Pennsylvania town to become unusually cranky.
Night of the Sneezing Dead. When local zombies begin to show symptoms of hay fever, the town’s only zombie doctor begins to suspect an invasion of the un-undead.
Pastrami with a Side of Death. The latest in a series of detective yarns featuring Gino Schwartzkopf, Delicatessen Detective.
Small Among the Heathen! Film version of the hit Broadway musical based on the prophecies of Obadiah.
The Hall of Mirrors. Documentary follows a documentary filmmaker as she spends five years making a documentary film about documentary filmmakers.
FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.
