Posts by Dr. Boli
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ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY.
ON THIS DAY in 1861, the famous Pony Express folded, after about a year and a half of operation between St. Joseph and Sacramento. And if anyone still insists that Americans worship only success, Dr. Boli would like to ask whether any successful business has ever generated more romance and legend than this short-lived and disastrously unprofitable enterprise, established at exactly the wrong time, and doomed to early failure from the outset. Perhaps not until the Edsel—the Ford Motor Company’s grand scheme to compete head-to-head with Chrysler’s DeSoto—would we see a similarly misconceived attempt.
Why, then, is Edsel a byword for failure, when the news that the Pony Express had an even shorter life is often met with incredulity? Dr. Boli has no immediate explanation, except to say that perhaps we prefer our romantic failures to involve horses in some capacity.
Dr. Boli would also like to point out to those who complain about the rising cost of postage that in 1861 it cost $2, or roughly $25 in today’s money, to send a one-ounce letter to California.
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ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY.
ON THIS DAY in 1929, the stock market began its frantic tumble on what became known as Black Thursday. It was followed by Black Friday, Black Monday, Black Tuesday, and Black Wednesday, after which other colors had to be found to indicate rotten days on the market. This precipitous decline in the values of stocks began what is commonly called the Great Depression, a period of global stagnation that ended only with the beginning of the Second World War. From this economic catastrophe American presidents have learned that it is very unwise to allow a single presidential term to pass without a foreign war of some sort.
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NOTICE.
THE ADVANCED RESEARCH Projects Department at Duck Hollow University would like the assistance of the public in searching for a self-replicating nanobot that Prof. Charleston may have left at Bentley’s Bar and Grill in Homestead. The device is roughly 4 micrometers in length and may easily be distinguished by the 0.7-micrometer-wide Duck Hollow University emblem on the back. Although Prof. Charleston is positive that he misplaced only one of the devices, he cannot state positively whether the self-replicating function was enabled or not. There may, therefore, be as many as 4,194,304 of the devices by now, taking into account the ordinary rate of replication and the approximate time when Prof. Charleston woke up behind the Dumpster outside Bentley’s and noticed the device was missing. As the devices are being produced under a military contract, the exact purpose of the device is classified; however, if you should happen to notice an unusually large quantity of cinnamon whipped cream in an unexpected place, please call the University immediately.
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From DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION.
Pepys, Samuel. In spite of his mother’s continued efforts and the intervention of the best voice coach in seventeenth-century London, Samuel Pepys was never able to pronounce his own name correctly.
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ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY.
ON THIS DAY in 1781, Lord Corwallis surrendered his sword to General George Washington. This glorious victory proved that the plucky American colonists were a match for any military force in the world, as long as they had the full might of the French navy to back them up.