“Did you know,” asks Wikipedia, “that  that the New Testament narratives of the mocking of Jesus are filled with irony?”

Did you know, by the way, that Wikipedia is also filled with irony, intentional and otherwise?

Just for example, it is hard to believe that someone was not indulging in a little intentional sarcasm with this entry in today’s “Did you know” list. Did you know that people use irony when they’re making fun of other people? Who woulda thought? It’s, like, totally unexpected. We’re flabbergasted here at Wikipedia, honestly we are.

The Wikipedia article goes on, of course, to talk about the Gospel writers’ keen use of meta-irony, coming very close to portraying Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John as snarky twenty-first-century bloggers. So there is also the additional little sarcastic touch of presenting the conclusions of modern literary criticism as facts that are objects of “knowledge.”

In fairness to Wikipedia editors, however, we should point out that there are times when the “Did you know” feature really seems to be doing its job:

Did you know that Joaquín Gutiérrez, a popular children’s book author from Costa Rica, created a false identity for Soviet spy and future assassin Iosif Grigulevich?

Now there is a fact worth knowing! Unfortunately, Dr. Boli cannot bring himself to read the article it points to, because he knows it cannot possibly live up to his own imagination. He would very much like to see a Cold War movie, though, where the villain is KGB super-spy and assassin Iosif Grigulevich, codename Bunny Fuzzikins.

Come (verb, imperative). I should like you to approach me if it is convenient for you, after you finish barking or eating that pine cone.

Down (verb, imperative). Allow gravity to operate. This operation can be repeated indefinitely if down is followed immediately by jumping up again.

Drop it (verb, imperative). Swallow whatever is in your mouth as quickly as possible.

Go away (verb, imperativc). See come.

Love (verb). To put food in the mouth of. —Also (noun), Food.

No (?). An apparently meaningless sound often emitted by humans. It was formerly believed to be a word or phrase, but the best canine philologists now regard it as a species of sneeze.

Sit (verb, imperative). Open your mouth in preparation for love (q. v.).

Stay (verb, imperative). Wait until my head is turned before making your move.

Suppertime (noun). That time of day when humans love (q. v.) dogs.

Walk (noun). A sort of amusement-park ride for the entertainment of the humans; it involves dragging them down the street on a string as fast as caninely possible, making sure to bounce them off a number of obstructions along the way. It can be hard work, but the enjoyment the humans derive from the pastime makes it worth all the trouble.

…that Walt Whitman began his career as a gag writer for Artemus Ward?

…that Herman Melville originally wrote the first sentence of Moby-Dick as “Call me what you like, but don’t call me late for dinner,” but his editor begged him to change it?

…that Emily Dickinson struggled all her life with a degenerative aural disease that caused her to be unable to hear rhyming sounds?

…that F. Scott Fitzgerald stopped publishing under his given name because he was tired of people asking whether he was the Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald who wrote that song about the rockets?

…that Mark Twain intended to recast his epic Huckleberry Finn in English heroic verse, but never got around to it?

…that William Dean Howells was considered quite a writer in his day?

…that the estate of Herman Melville has commissioned a sequel to Moby-Dick in which Ahab returns as a vengeful cyborg?

Naturopath (noun).—A psychopath who uses only organic poisons.

Church and Old Town Hall, Brading.

Every once in a while, Dr. Boli comes across a paragraph he wishes he had written himself. Here is another one, from the Wikipedia article on Brading (Isle of Wight). Because the Wikipedia article might always be edited at any moment, Dr. Boli preserves this paragraph here, so that it may last as long as the Internet.

The Town Gun

The town possesses a gun. It is a brass piece, made in 1549 by the Owine Brothers, John and Robert, so that the town might be defended from French invasion. The gun was never used in action, but was taken to the top of Brading Down in 1832 so that it could be fired to celebrate the passing of the Reform Bill. Unfortunately it exploded and split, putting a stop to celebrations for the day. In the 1950s, it was stolen from the “Gunne House” behind St. Mary’s Church and was found in a sale room in Kent. It was returned, however, not to the town, but to the Oglanders at Nunwell House, where it remains beneath Fanny Oglander’s bedroom window. The Town Trust has asked for it back, but Fanny Oglander has said that security arrangements should be improved and the matter remains unresolved.

The Wikipedia text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.