Posts by Dr. Boli
FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.
MAKE ME WITH AN ENDLESS AFTERTASTE.
THE FORM OF literature commonly called “spam” is rich with unintended poetry, and we make no apology for quoting some of the more colorful expressions that, regrettably, we must exclude from the normal run of comments.
After I read and think of after, I think this is the best today I see articles although no gorgeous language, but expression of incisively and vividly, make me with an endless aftertaste. Thank the authors share, I will continue to focus on.
Focus on, dear reader, and perhaps Dr. Boli will focus with you for a while.
Ha ha, luck is too great, actually let I met such a good article, heart is very happy, I seriously read this article and article really feel is good, the article central thought gripping content, write very exciting.
There is nothing more gratifying to an author than to know that his readers have seriously read his articles, and that his writing has made their hearts very happy.
The writing is really too good, can use the classic two words describe this article, the article structure very logical line, I am happy to meet such a good article. I hope the author continue to issue other better articles ah.
Ah, indeed! Which words, by the way, are the classic two words? Any number of pairs of words have occurred to Dr. Boli, but he does not believe he has hit on the specific pair his correspondent had in mind.
I am very happy, because this is the article I’ve met today! The article content and people are closely related, very impressive, convincing very strong ah, I will continue to focus on such articles, expect better articles.
So many of our correspondents sighing “ah!” in obvious delight! It is nearly enough to turn one’s head.
What a good article ah, the story is very moving, even I the person of stone eldest brother also cannot help but nose under the tears, and I was going to tell others, let them know that once had a such a touching story. I really like the author’s writing technique.
Dr. Boli is sure this was meant to be flattering, although he cannot help imagining the “person of stone” as intoning “Don Giovanni!” in a deep and penetrating bass. Still, there are times when one must simply nose under one’s tears and go on.
Whenever I have what not happy or want, I always see your articles, will let me end down, your article is just like one of my close friends, when I have trouble or things, always can let me find the solution.
Dr. Boli would like it known that he disclaims all responsibility for letting anyone’s end down.
At the network’s I wandered. By chance after your web site, read your post. Very fruitful, thank you for sharing. On the Internet, it is hard to find useful information. Thank you.
At first Dr. Boli thought he might be reading a retranslated version of a poem by Robert Frost, but he lost the thread of the symbolism about halfway through.
Wow, this blog good ah, the layout is very good, very logical. I think there will be a lot of readers like reading. Very often update, and I will also continue to will pay more attention to, are looking forward to the next issue of the blog oh.
Not only an “ah,” but an “oh” as well! If our correspondent will not refuse a little advice on punctuation, adding two commas would make the second sentence clearer: “I think there will be a lot of readers, like, reading.”
The real life rich possession in the quiet. The life of a quiet life, disorientation, forget self, only muddle their fancy led by the nose.
This is a wonderful thing, such as life, and perhaps today’s brutal brutal tomorrow, but the day after tomorrow there will always be the sun.
Here we have two correspondents attempting profundity. We hope they did not hurt themselves.
We are not perfect, but we have to accept imperfect. Learn to love yourself, spoil yourself, to make their own independent.
In the immortal words of Groucho Marx, “I think you’ve got something there, and I’ll wait outside till you clean it up.”
Advertisement.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS.
A NEAR-RIOT marred the premiere of Irving Vanderblock-Wheedle’s new experimental drama Exeunt Omnes last night, as hundreds of disgruntled patrons demanded their money back. According to one ticket-holder, as soon as the curtain rose, all the actors walked off stage and never came back. In an email exchange, Mr. Vanderblock-Wheedle said that his play is a witty and ironic commentary on modern society’s demand for incessant entertainment, and as such was worth every penny of the ticket price.
TITLE PAGES: THEY DON’T MAKE ’EM LIKE THEY USED TO.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR.
Sir: Our infrastructure is in a sorry state. Bridges are creaky and dropping chunks of concrete. Roads are full of potholes. Sidewalks are crumbling. All these things desperately need work—and, in far too many cases, no one is out there working.
Yet, at the same time, Dan Brown continues to write more amateurish thrillers as if he were doing the world a favor. Why is he allowed to clutter up the literary landscape with formulaic rubbish when the Greenfield Bridge is falling down on the Parkway? If he has time to plot out a dozen more novels featuring Robert Langdon of Harvard’s renowned Department of Symbology, he has time to pour some concrete. No one really needs a ridiculous and contrived story about some centuries-old conspiracy involving the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks and the 4-H Clubs, but everyone would benefit from some maintenance work on the East Busway.
I call upon Congress and the president to see to it that our nation’s infrastructure is made our top priority. Let Dan Brown be put to work wherever an extra hand is needed. Let him spend as many hours a day on real labor as he would otherwise spend failing to make his verbs agree with his subjects. Our prosperity and our literary reputation both depend on it.
—Sincerely,
Salman Rushdie,
Address withheld by request
From DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION,
Second Series.
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Hummingbirds. Ornithologists have known for some time that so-called “humming” birds actually practice a modified form of Gregorian chant.
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Do you worry that your thorough knowledge of ornithology and allied subjects may be hindering your social life? Misinformation is the cure for social awkwardness, as well as hives, restless-leg syndrome, and the common cold.
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ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY.
ON THIS DAY in 30 B.C., Cleopatra pressed an asp to her bosom, bringing Egyptian history to an end until 1952. In honor of this solemn anniversary, we reprint the Asp’s Aria from Irving Vanderblock-Wheedle’s libretto to the Ruthven Mophandle Heyser opera The Death of Cleopatra:
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It was not generally made public until recently that the libretto to Heyser’s well-received new opera, The Death of Cleopatra, was written by the eminent novelist and poet Irving Vanderblock-Wheedle. The Asp’s Aria, sung by Julietta della Fripperia to Heyser’s haunting cacophony of bassoons and kazoos, has been singled out for especial praise.
[Lento arigato.]
Excuse me, please, but did I overhear
A queen’s lament, with many a bitter tear?
You’ll find a true friend lurking very near:
I am (and please try not to gasp)
An asp.
Has it occurred to you what quick relief
Would comfort you and silence all your grief—
How short your cares would be, your tears how brief,
If to your bosom you should clasp
An asp?
I happen to have made my little nest
Right here, in this bejeweled little chest
(For you’ll agree that little chests are best):
Now just pull out the bolt and grasp
The hasp.
I’ll be your passp-
Ort to eternity and lasting fame:
Soon girls from Glassp-
Ort to Sewickley will usurp your name,
If you will lift the hasp
And just reach in and grasp
And to your bosom clasp
(Forgive my vocal rasp)
An asp.
ASK DR. BOLI.
Dear Dr. Boli: I was talking to some guy who said he was a professor of history at some university in Georgia (the name escapes me at the moment), and he was saying that the Civil War was never about slavery. What did he mean by that? —Sincerely, A Woman Who Thought the Civil War Was About Slavery.
Dear Madam: The average ill-informed yokel often supposes that the American Civil War was fought mostly on account of slavery, but such risible ignorance would be unpardonable in a serious historian. In fact there were many questions that divided North and South, of which the existence of slavery was actually one of the least important.
Foremost among these questions was the question of states’ rights. Did the Southern states have the right to take their ball and go home like a bunch of whiny spoilsport crybabies the first time the country elected a president who publicly opposed slavery? On this question the North and South could not agree. The Southerners insisted that the individual states had the absolute right to withdraw from the Union whenever they desired to do so, and in general took an uncompromisingly strong stance on states’ rights.
There was also the question of enforcement of federal laws. Did the Northern states have the right to pass laws that hindered the enforcement of the Fugitive Slave Act? Here again there could be no agreement: the Southerners insisted that the federal law must be supreme, and in general took an uncompromisingly strong stance against states’ rights.
Then there was the question of the territories. Should slavery be allowed in them or not? Should they be admitted to the Union as slave states or free states? Many Southerners vehemently opposed the Missouri Compromise, which roughly divided the territories between free in the North and slave in the South, on the grounds that each newly admitted state should be allowed to decide the question of slavery for itself. Likewise, Southerners were appalled when California, at its own request, was admitted to the Union as a free state, on the grounds that the admission violated the Missouri Compromise.
So you can see that slavery was in fact the least of the difficulties dividing North and South.