On this day in 1494, the Treaty of Tordesillas was signed, dividing all newly discovered lands between Spain to the west of a certain meridian and Portugal to the east of it. This treaty established an important principle of international law: that if you are a band of thugs intending to muscle in and take over already-inhabited countries, it is proper form first to make a gentlemanly agreement with any other thugs who might have their own plans for conquest and massacre in the same territories.

On this day in 1252, Alfonso the Wise became king of Castile and León, beginning Europe’s one and only experiment with wise kings—an experiment generally regarded as a failure that ought not to be repeated in the future.

Learned Hand.—Private correspondence reveals that Judge Learned Hand wrote an abominable schoolboy scrawl.

On this day in 1536, Ann Boleyn, the Queen of England, was arrested on charges of adultery, incest, treason, witchcraft, burglary, tax evasion, trespassing, failing to signal while changing lanes, insider trading, and simony. The court ultimately reduced the charges to loitering in the second degree, which was a capital offense.

On this day in 1886, Anita Loos and Ludwig Wittgenstein were born, striking a blow against the pseudoscience of astrology from which it would never fully recover.

Discovery of Brazil by Portuguese; discovery of Portuguese by Brazilians.

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On this day in 1500, the Portuguese under Pedro Álvares Cabral discovered Brazil. Brazil had been discovered about four months earlier by the Spaniard Vicente Yáñez Pinzón, but History has ruled that his discovery did not count. It had also been discovered about 11,000 years before Pinzón by people who were still living there when the Europeans arrived, but they did not count either. History has very exacting standards for discovery.

Sandwich.—The “sandwich” popular at delicatessens and fast-food restaurants was named for the Earl of Sandwich, who, marooned on one of the islands that now bear his name, was eaten by the natives between slices of bread.

On this day in 1606, the Virginia Company was incorporated in London for the purpose of exploiting the British possessions in North America. The most recent annual report cautions shareholders to brace themselves for a four hundred eighteenth consecutive unprofitable fiscal year.

On this day in 193, Didius Julianus bought the Roman Empire. He did not, however, pay for the extended warranty—a decision he came to regret shortly after the 60-day warranty expired.

On this day in 1811, Percy Shelley was expelled from Oxford for the offense of “egregious and incorrigible poetry.”