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Posts filed under “Poetry”

TYPEWRITER EPIGRAMS.

Posted by Dr. Boli on April 20, 2023. 2 comments.

Every typewriter deserves its own epigram, improvised on its own keyboard. Here are a few more.

Royal HH, 1951:

It’s an ugly old duck,
With its body like muck
And its keys of an algae-like green;
But just once, if you please,
have a seat at the keys,
And you’ll say it’s a lovely machine.

Remington Noiseless, 1937 (this one types):

Each typewriter has his M. O.,
And mine is pianissimo.

Royal KMM, 1942:

It’s splendid if you own a
Smith-Corona,
But it’s easy to be loyal
To a Royal.

Underwood Standard Portable, 1926:

My finish is deplorable,
But ain’t I still adorable?

USEFUL SHIPPING LABELS YOU CAN PRINT.

Posted by Dr. Boli on April 11, 2023. One comment.

Throw against wall—see what we care

Do not move—keep your hands in the air

Stab repeatedly with sharp object before opening

Carrier under pressure—be scrupulously polite

Do not inventory—does not exist

TYPEWRITER EPIGRAMS.

Posted by Dr. Boli on April 7, 2023. 6 comments.

Every typewriter deserves its own epigram, improvised on its own keyboard. Here are a few more.

Underwood Rhythm Touch, 1950:

This beast weighs thirty-seven pounds!
Zounds!
It looks like it’s been through a war!
Cor!

Olympia SF De Luxe, 1966 (with a few sticky keys):

I need a bit of exercise.
Don’t keep me in the dark!
On sunny days, you would be wise
To take me to the park.

Smith-Corona Sterling, 1949:

A fine machine of sterling worth,
Of noble and distinguished birth.
Its beauty may not win renown,
But, writing, it won’t let you down.

Remington Noiseless Model Seven, 1937 (in beautiful cosmetic condition, but with mechanical problems—these two lines cost a lot of effort):

I look all right, but I can’t type, it’s clear.
(Your vaudeville secretary joke goes here.)

TYPEWRITER EPIGRAMS.

Posted by Dr. Boli on April 6, 2023. No comments.

Every typewriter deserves its own epigram, improvised on its own keyboard. Here are a few to start with.

The Remington Quiet-Riter:

My marketers would like to call me quiet,
But in the coffee shop I’m still a riot.

The Olivetti Valentine (found at a thrift store for $5):

For vivid colors do you pine?
Then I will be your Valentine.
I have a very pleasant touch.
I’m mercenary, but not much.
We won’t be playing for high stakes.
Five bucks is really all it takes.

The Hermes 3000:

If I send you a letter that’s typed up in cursive,
Does the reading experience seem more immersive?

The Woodstock:

(This poem is dedicated to the memory of Richard Nixon, Typewriter Detective.)

ASK DR. BOLI.

Posted by Dr. Boli on February 27, 2023. 2 comments.

Transcribed below.

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WHEN I AM DEAD.

Posted by Dr. Boli on February 26, 2023. 2 comments.

Transcribed below.

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BING, CAN YOU WRITE ME A HAIKU?

Posted by Dr. Boli on February 24, 2023. 2 comments.

You want a haiku?
Go ask some snotty sixth-grader.
I have better things to do than sit around and count syllables all day, you know.

(Of course this is science fiction. In real life, Bing does not have access to a Monarch Pioneer.)

A CENTURY AND A HALF OF THE TYPEWRITER.

Posted by Dr. Boli on February 23, 2023. 2 comments.

Transcribed below. The typewriter is the Woodstock. The Christian Science Monitor article has not yet appeared on the Monitor’s site; it is in the weekly print edition.

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SOUTH WIND.

Posted by Dr. Boli on February 20, 2023. 2 comments.

A fresh breeze blowing from the south
brings spring along upon its wings.
My trash cans end up in the street again.

ANOTHER EXPERIMENT IN ENGLISH HAIKU.

Posted by Dr. Boli on February 19, 2023. 2 comments.

Transcribed below. The typewriter is an Underwood Rhythm Touch standard, with a new ribbon that is perhaps a little too inky.

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