AT HIS AGE, Dr. Boli no longer finds it practical to make New Year’s resolutions for himself. Instead, he takes the opportunity presented by the celebration of the new year to suggest a number of resolutions for his readers to adopt.

1. You resolve to do something about that thing growing at the bottom of the refrigerator before it learns to use tools and discovers fire. Either get rid of it or domesticate it and assign it certain chores around the house.

2. You resolve to shun anyone who, in spite of repeated warnings, continues to use the phrase “not so much.”

3. You resolve to pay your gravity bill on time every month, since last October’s shutoff was embarrassing and inconvenient.

4. You resolve that you will finally get around to labeling your poison collection, and will find some place to store it other than the spice rack.

5. You resolve to vote whimsically this year, since last year’s careful weighing of the issues did you no good whatsoever.

6. You resolve to make a real effort to be more tolerant of Presbyterians, in spite of the obvious difficulties.

7. You resolve that, the next time you see the word “bandura,” you will immediately and without thinking follow the coded instructions to be found at drboli.com, confident that in doing so you will be making the world a better place.

TO LOOK BACK on a year filled with accomplishments and happy memories is always a great satisfaction. Today, however, we look back at the year 2010.

In January, we introduced our Practical Standard Letter-Writer, with the avowed hope of improving our young people’s skills in text messaging. January also brought us news of a horrifying nanotragedy that had an immeasurably small effect on some of the world’s most eminent scientists.

We faced the great blizzard of February with some useful suggestions for the snowbound.

In March, we explained in plain language how the ordinary citizen would be affected by health-care reform.

April, appropriately, brought us Highlights of British Parliamentary History.

In May, we heard the minutes from the last meeting of the Society for the Prevention of Joy.

In June, we caught a glimpse of the future as our Scientific Journal gave us a preview of Web 3.0.

In July, by special arrangement, we were able to reprint the front of the centenary issue of the People’s Revolutionary Voice. We also learned about the Language of Flowers.

August brought us one simple rule for graduate study in literature, a rule upon which many academic careers have been built. We also learned where babies come from.

In September, we learned the natural history of the Gryphon, or Griffin, or Griffon, or γρύφων. We also took our final exam in history, and without doubt all passed with exemplary marks.

In October, we heard the Adventures of Backstory Man and Angst Boy, sponsored by Malt-O-Cod. We also read another excerpt from the letters of Udolphe de lEnnui, the celebrated French poet.

November, appropriately for readers in the United States, brought us a lucid explanation of the positions of the various political parties competing for the attention of the American voter. We also read the latest adventure of Admiral Hornswoggle, who met perhaps his most devious opponent in the person of Falsebeard the pirate.

In December we learned to cook chili. We also sat through a lackluster though traditional roundup of the year’s highlights, but there is certainly no need to repeat that experience so soon.

DO NOT IMMERSE product in water.

Do not hit self on head repeatedly with product.

Do not set product on fire indoors.

Do not feed product to wolves.

Do not stand directly under product if product is falling from a great height.

Do not board rear car of a Red Line train during rush hour if you intend to get off at Fallowfield. This has nothing to do with product, but will save you a great deal of trouble.

Do not expose product to light of waning gibbous moon. Please. For your family’s sake.

Do not eat product without Dijon mustard.

GUARANTEE: If you are killed or maimed by product within thirty days of purchase, return unused portion with store receipt for pro-rated refund.